In my original reply to this, I said that all the examples I had in mind fell into the category of trying to make me aware of things I was already aware of. It dawned on me later that there was another category: Suggesting ideas. To me ideas are cheap; I can think of ideas on my own, and can find them easily in books (and now on the web, which didn't exist when I first tried therapy). Where I tend to need help is in implementing ideas. A variation on this: One therapist said he helps people find solutions. It is the same problem: implementing the solutions/ideas is where I could use help. For example, just giving me a somewhat sheltered place where I can practice "speaking my voice" is one of the most helpful things a therapist can do to help me. (I call this "two ears are better than none." Some other kinds of help might be considered as "four hands are better than two.") But therapists seem to believe that their job is to engage in interventions of their own choosing. It wouldn't be so bad if they worked on an informed consent basis, explaining what sort of interventions they proposed, and what they were intendeded to accomplish. Then I could say yes or no; or that I thought the purpose was OK, but the means weren't; or that the purpose was not something I consented to; or propose something that I thought would be more helpful to me. But they just seem to decide on their own, and then I am faced with the task of saying after the fact, "no, that was not helpful," or asking why they did it. And in addition, I may need to deal with counterproductive consequences of an inappropriate intervention. I think it would be much more efficient as well as user-friendly (just all-round more helpful) if they operated on more of an informed consent basis.
I related beef of mine is that some things I have read aimed at therapists say that "engage the client" is the most important thing for a therapist to remember. I disagree. Not disengaging is much more important. Yes, some clients sometimes need to be engaged. But I find that interventions often interfere with engagement. Perhaps a better perspective would be "foster the client's engagement," encompassing three things:
1. Provide conditions that are user friendly for the client to take the initiative.(e.g., saying at the very beginning, "Please let me know if I do anything that doesn't make sense to you or if I am interfering with your helping yourself.")
2. Be careful not to do anything to interfere with the client's engagement.
3. Only if the above don't work should you try to engage the client.