Thanks for your response.

When I tried interviewing therapist #4 (the psychiatrist), she certainly seemed to find it amusing -- she said it was such fun to be asked questions; that patients rarely did that.

I have remembered another question I asked her: What her strengths and weaknesses as a therapist were. I don't recall if she said anything about strengths, but she did say that the only weakness was that sometimes her patients told her she didn't take her seriously enough because she sometimes laughed at them; but she "couldn't help it; people sometimes get themselves in the darndest places."

I imagined that what she was talking about was laughing about some little thing, then apologizing. Unfortunately, it wasn't like that at all. I think there were only three times (in six months) that she laughed at me, but they were really biting.

One was when I was trying to tell her how my emotions are sometimes complex -- one may prompt another, and then sometimes that prompts a third. She laughed and said, "Oh, you make things so complex!" I was speechless (a common experience in therapy for me). It seemed like dismissing something that was an important point. I remember reading somewhere a few years later that this is indeed a sign of more severe problems, that are more difficult to treat.

The second was when I boldly said that she didn't seem to be giving me as much positive feedback as she initially had. She responded in a mocking tone, giving syrupy, exaggerated compliments and laughing. I felt extremely embarrassed and begged her to stop.

The third and very worst needs a little preface. The previous session, I had come in wanting to talk about shame (which has been a big problem for me). She asked an unrelated question that got us off on a tangent. So I came in the next week quite assertively (for me) saying that I wanted to talk about shame. She said that she didn't know what I meant by shame; she had even looked it up in the dictionary and still didn't understand. I found it quite amazing that a therapist wouldn't understand the word shame, but I tried to explain. She said she didn't understand my explanation. I tried again. She said she still didn't understand. I tried again. She then threw up her hands, threw her head back, laughed, and said, "I have no idea what you're talking about." Guess what: I felt ashamed.

Looking back, I find it so amazing that I went back after even the first incident. But at the time, I told myself that I knew in advance that she sometimes laughed at clients, and that I needed to try not to expect too much (since therapist #1 told me that I expected too much), and that I needed to be tolerant of others (this therapist had told me that), and that the problem was just that I was hypersensitive. I clearly was in bad shape. I sure could have used some help. I now think that I was being too tolerant of unacceptable, unprofessional behavior.

Unfortunately, my therapist #4 was a very poor puzzle solver. To extend the metaphor, when I went to therapy, I had put together a bunch of pieces of the puzzle I was dealing with. But there were some that didn't fit in, and some that were clearly missing. I (naively) thought therapy would help supply the missing pieces and help me where I was stuck. But with this therapist, it was as if she had grabbed the puzzle pieces from me and was holding them out of my sight. Then every once in a while, she would show them to me the way she had put them together: She had taken apart the pieces that I had fit together well, and had crammed them together in ways that didn't really fit (much as a small child sometimes does). If she had been a good puzzle solver, that would have been a different story.

It's always good to hear of cases that do work out (though the envy does arise).

Sounds like resourcefulness on your part.

I don't think I have brought up warmth in any of my posts. To be honest, I'm really not sure that I understand the concept well; when I think of characteristics of people, "warmth" isn't one of them. I've tried looking it up in a dictionary, and that makes it sound like something that I would find difficult to deal with in a therapist, unless moderated by reserve in its expression.

If anyone would be willing to try to explain what they mean by warmth (at least in the context of therapy), and how they find it helpful in therapy, I'd appreciate it.