Here's my take on your situation: I think it boils down to the poor communication and the violation of his trust.

The barrier of not being able to effectively convey honest emotions already existed between the two of you so that alone would keep him from telling you how much it really hurt him. Your revelation was seen by you as coming clean about a minor thing but to him it was a major shocker and he didn't know how to react or process the information.

Then there is the loss of trust this revelation caused. You saw it as being honest with him; he saw it as betrayal, filling his mind full of "what ifs": What if it really was more than two men? What if it was more than just kissing? What if this has been going on right from the start? What if this keeps on happening?

He may understand why you did what you did. He may understand that even though you know this behavior is harmful to yourself and to your marriage that you don't yet have control over it, like an alcoholic that can't stop drinking even though they know it's toxic to them and their relationships.

Bottom line is do you and he think there's a chance that the lost trust can be restored or will there always be suspicion lingering in the back of his mind? You may truly still feel love toward each other but ultimately the most healthy move may be to allow him to move on.