I understand your feelings and frustration. I too have always had a very tough time expressing myself verbally. And yes it feels like it takes so much work to have anything resembling even a short conversation. It's like the wiring between the part of my brain where thoughts originate, the part of it that turns those thoughts into coherent strings of words, and the part that controls the diaphragm, vocal cords, mouth and tongue to verbalize the string of words is always short circuited. There is almost never a continuous free-flowing stream of speech. It makes me that much more self conscious and frequently just give up as it isn't worth the effort.