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He wasn't speaking in his own voice, his own words, and he wasn't speaking about you. He was role-playing, as you said. He was an actor acting the part of an a-hole husband who's very mean and demeaning to his wife.
I don't know why he chose the issue and words he chose to, and it certainly sounds insensitive given your concerns.
I think you need to first and foremost realize he was an acting playing a role, not being himself. That's what role-play is about. Maybe you've never done it yourself or acted before. It wasn’t about you at all or about his opinion of you. It was a demonstration, not personal.
Second, you definitely should ask him about the topic and words he used--why, a particular reason, related to you? The comments sound like generic comments that a really abusive, loser, mean man in real life might say to his female partner, hence a good example to use as realistic for that kind of guy—and he exists. There are men who use that language with women and are very verbally abusive. The kind of man no woman should be with. With you he just picked a really, really inappropriate example to use, unless he had a particualr reason to use that one, which still might not be good given how hurt you are. I can see having a T role-play and touch on an issue of mine like this and be really bothered and hurt.
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out of my mind, left behind
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