Echoes- Im sure you'll get better replies than mine, but here goes (and take it from where its coming, in terms of my experience with dt). It amazes me that therapists want us to talk, it is why we are there, we need to get it out, yet when they dont like what we have to say about them, we should not talk. When she said, "I have the ability to get hurt," that doesnt sound to me like, "I have the ability to deal with hurt feelings." It sounds like, "you can see that I am hurt, if you keep talking, Im going to get more hurt."

I cant say I know where the line is drawn, but there must be a place where they can be authentic yet be professional enough to allow us to say what we need to say. If she is messy and somewhat disorganized, then, in a professional sense, acknowledge that and validate your feelings. That it is understandable that you would interpret that as inept and careless, she has to keep some kind of distance and allow you your feelings. This is a theraputic relationship, she is there to understand and explore for you what that means.

Well, that would shut me up, too. Dt was the same way, and it stopped me from EVER saying to her how I felt about what she said or did, not only did *I* idealize her, but from her reactions, it was as if she idealized herself. She was so impossible to confront. One of the big reasons I cant go back for a closure session and she is left wondering what happened and what could be going on in my mind is because I feel that she cannot handle what is going on in my mind. UGH!

Big hugs.....we are the "shut up" twins.....