mum2four,

I agree with Pup. We aren't professionals, and certainly cannot give you legitimate diagnoses. What we can provide, if we choose, is our opinion of your words.

It sounds as though you dislike the diagnosis of BPD, and as though you're looking for ways in which this diagnosis does not fit your personality and behavior. Many doctors try to go around diagnosis nowadays, because there is so much information out there, people often freak themselves out. For instance, BPD is a part of me. It is not all of me. I am not BPD. Instead, I have strong tendencies to swing from mood to mood intensely. (I've always been "all or nothing", a core belief.) If I disagree with (anything - we'll say... fatty foods), I avoid fatty foods completely. I also avoid being around those sinners that do eat fatty foods. I look down upon those people, because I look down upon eating fatty foods. It goes together in my mind. In a time of weakness, I eat a fatty food and apply that same message towards myself. My self-hate deepens, as I hold myself to very high (unreachable) standards.

When I recognize my values being very rigid, I must take a step back, deep breath, and tell myself to chill out. I remind myself that we are all human, no one is perfect. At this point, I have to try to bring myself out of the steep self-hate slope. That's my personal experience (one aspect, anyway). I do have BPD (borderline personality disorder), but that's true. On the border of one mood to another.

Shez