Alright, where to start?
I'm 17, and a high school senior. I've struggled with depression and self harm for about six or seven years now, but have been alright for a while now.
I'm not asking for a diagnosis here, just...a direction in which to look.
I'm a very good liar, and a great manipulator. I'm not trying to be prideful or anything--I just, am. The problem is...I can't really tell when I'm lying anymore. I do it very automatically. Another thing is that I feel like everything I say is a lie. When I was SI-ing (self injuring), I felt like it was a 'lie' for attention, even though nobody knew. Every time I'm depressed, I feel like I'm lying about it. I feel like my emotions are invalidated because they're all lies.
I feel as though I've lost touch with reality to some extent. I know that any voices I hear in my head are just my own thinking, but I listen to them. I also have this whole world developed in my mind...I have people in it...names and personalities. It's like 'imaginary friends' on steriods. I've always done this...since I was little. I've had the same people for maybe five years now.The others haven't gone away, I just don't see them anymore. My persona has moved from them...but can visit them. I know that these characters aren't real, but I feel like they are. I feel like not being with them would kill me, or them. I know they aren't tangible people...but they are...sort of.
I constantly think about suicide. I never contemplate it, I just think about it obsessively. Is this a bad thing, or just curiosity. I don't think I would ever do it, I just think about it and the reprocussions of it.
I feel like I'm stuck in my head, overanalyzing everything.
My head, it just goes in circles sort of. :
You're depressed, but only for attention. You want attention, that's why you're depressed, but you don't tell anyone. You should tell somebody about your depression and other problems but if you tell them, it only validates the fact that you wanted attention.
So like...if my problems were real, I should tell someone, but if I tell someone, it makes them not real because I wanted attention. I can't tell if they're real unless I talk to someone, but if I talk to someone then it makes them not real.

Basically, I'm in a thought fog and am unable to think clearly right now. I just want and need some advice. Help, please?
I'm free to explain anything that wasn't written...there's loads more...I just can't think quite clearly right now.