((((((((Alyssa)))))))))))) you know I think of ya as a little sister and I hate to see you go through all this (for those who don't know, me and Tal are friends from a former anxiety support chat room and I told her about this site because it's really helped me and I'm hoping it will help her too!)

I know how awful ocd intrusive thoughts can be.. I get them really bad too (for me it seems to be periods where it's better, and then periods where it's really bad). When mine are really bad, I always tell myself 'ok, I have never acted on these thoughts in the past, even when they were really bad, so I know I won't act on them now'.. I also remind myself that the fact that I am apolled and do NOT want these thoughts, prooves even more that I am sane and a good person because if I really WAS evil, I would want these bad thoughts. But I don't, and neither do you. You are a good person and I have every bit of faith in you that you will get through this. You know I"m always here for you girl! You are very strong and very brave to go through all this. Always remember that! And know that 'thoughts' are much different than 'actions'. I used to think I was evil because of my bad thoughts of hurting people, but that's all they are, is unwanted thoughts. One thing that really helped me with my thoughts was zyprexa and risperadol. Maybe you can talk to your pdoc about trying something similar to that? (I know they have ones now that don't cause as much weight gain, like Invega.

I hope you are having a better day today and don't ever feel bad for having to cancel out on family events because of your ocd or anxiety. If your family and friends truly love you, they will understand. (((((((big hugs to you))))))))) Always remember you are not alone and you are stronger than you think