I've spoken frequently with my school counselor about all of these issues. I recently brought up the fact that I've become paranoid that my every word is a lie. He strongly recommends professional help...but every time I get close to asking for it, I find myself suddenly contented with my problems, or in control. I use the term 'suddenly' in a paritally cynical manner. I know for a fact that for some reason, I am convincing myself that these issues are not as big as they are as an avoidance technique. I'm not apprehensive at all about counseling...quite the contrary, I'm starving for it...I've been wanting to ask for years. I'm more apprehensive about discussing it with my parents and the financial ramifications it might have on them and their relationship...money and stress and whatnot. I don't know...I don't know what to do anymore. I feel absolutely hopeless and now realize how pathetic my previous post makes me sound.