Hello, pinkgrl29. Amused? I do not get the impression what you are going through is very funny. Those who are plagued with an illness often think they are different. Many times the feeling of being different is exacerbated by isolation.

You must have reasons for being so down on yourself. Do they ring true upon examination? Do you think you need help to sort through what I expect are distortions in your thinking?

If so, is there any reason you would not be able to begin the journey to a better life today?

Good luck!