The diagnoises of BPD does not fully make sence to me thats all......Not only that but changed the way the Dr's at the clinic started to deal with me.....Also my moods changes have been controlled with just anti-D meds and I was told by my last T who diagnoised me that it would take up to 10y of intensive therapy including group therapy to change the way I was......When I was with my last T I did blame the relationship issues on me but I know now it was my fault I did not do anything mean or have high expections I did not try to control people or push my thoughts on to them I was never explosive or violent like all the information say's......I have no problem with being labbled BPD if I can get a T to explain why he thinks it is me. I agree theres a lot of stuff that fits and it would explain alot but from everything I have read and that lots I'm confused so I'm kinda looking for a honerst and true account of BPD behaviour from people with BPD not for a diagnoises. from everything I read from people with BPD there explosive behaviour and there normally have low tollerance to deal with behaviours. I have a very high tollerance for dealing with behaviours I deem negative I ignore all my negative thoughts that impose on my self for years and year with a person before I could not longer tolerate dealing with them. The intemitten stormy side of the friendship all were about real issues that would have hurt any one feelings and it proberly would have effected other people sooner than it got to me. My partner is great with people and even agrees that I should not have put up with kinds of behaviours my so called friend did to me. For example one of them told my partner that I had cheated on him, what was I supose to say "Oh thank you very much thats a funny joke" lol Another friend started smoking dope in front of my kids and refused to take it to her room, was I supose to say" yaya get my kids stoned." Yer I had minor fights but I was always the one to forgive first I was alway the one that did all the phone calls to talk to them. I was the one that leant them money they could never lend me money, i was the one thay pulled out of plans with to go with a better friend, they never came to my kids b;days and if they did thay stayed for 5min you dont do that kids it just not fair to them..I was the one that threw the surprise partys no one eva threw me a surprise party. I was the one that got people present that saids something about them to show I knew them well. I never expected anything in return and when they finally did the worst thing a friend could do eg try to get my kids taken from me cause they accused me off neglect for not being in the exact same room of the house with my kids, or try to make the only person that has eva loved me for who I am bad and good parts leave me with lies....what was I meant to do I dont think I'm BPD mainly because I feel that I just cant pick thr right people to be friends with..... If that in its self is a BPD behaviour then maybe but I'm sure there plenty of people out there that cant find nice friends. Is a person that pick lousy boy friends BPD cause thats what I do but in stead of boy friends it just friends I terrable with.

i would just like to hear some stories from people with BPD. The one Shez said aboutthe fatty food sound simular to what I do with people NOW but not when I in high school being teased by every single person in the school at some point or another I was the person that got her chair kicked in class I was the person that got threaten to be beaten on at least once a week, i was the person that bullys loved cause I cryed easy I learnt to laugh at them and it got better but it did not stop. My first and only friend lasted 17y till my OCD kicked in big time over less than $1 and the argument spiraled out of control cause 17y of OCD thoughts just spilling out of my mouth I did know it was OCD at that time. Did not find out for at least 5 more years. Had my OCD not have kicked in over the small amount of money I prety sure I would still be letting friends like that walk all over me. While I dont think the friendships were healthy I dont agree with the way I dealt with the friends to end the friendship......I did not feel in control of what was coming out of my mouth and was going threw my head. That has prety much stopped since going on a high does of Anti-D/OCD meds. My new T say is not me its the area I live in he would love me to move to a different area cause he beleaive that would be a healthy invironment but I'm scared to move out of what I know. In the area I'm in I'm the richer person I on my way to owning my house I have nice stuff and can remind my self of where I came from and how far I made it up the economic ladder in a better area I would be the one the less expensive house the one with less things in the house the one people look down on. How do I stay postive about how far I come by my self if I no longer can see where I come from..Plus I'm scared I'm not good enough for people in better area's. I scared that I be looked down apon. I should not care really cause being the richer person in the area does not make me popular it make the enemy. A target to get angry at because I'm seen to be a show off when I dont show off I just manage my money really well. I love to share my knolage to people and my flast friend asks me for tips on how I manage to get everything I get. I think that part of the problem with one of the friends that I had faling out with thay use to earn more than us but had less than use to show for it. They still earn more than us and started out with owning a home and car and now are paying a morgage and car payments cause thay live above there means. I no a show off by no stretch of the imagintation but people seem to feel the need to compeate with me or show off anything new to me its frustrating. Even my mum use to compete with me I'd bye some thing she'd buy the same but better. I once told a friend what my dreams for live were and since then she has done all the things I said I was aiming for. I said I wanted a 2 story house she got one I said I wanted a fue other things and she got them cant remember what thay were now but its so frustrating to see a person who cheats on welfare do every one of dreams and to do it before you and invite you to an event to show it off after not talking to you months or some time years. I dont think I'm paranoide but I still tell my self to ignore it thats its just is the way it is.....This person still provokes the worst feeling inside pf me when I hear her name or that shes showing off again and want us to be there. I hate that she has effect on me she not worth the effort and the draning feeling that I get fighting off MY OCD obsession about her.