Thank you so much ladies!!!

I appreciate the support being alone and am very grateful for this site.

As I stated before, the support system here in New Orleans is almost zilch. They are still in major recovery stage here and are still in the process of opening medical centers around here. As far as mental health centers go, they are almost non-exsisent. Hopefully, if and when I get the SSI and medicaid I can start going to a private doc and get a little help there.

I am unable to take meds for my depression as there seems to be a common denominator in them that I am deathly allergic to and have been fighting the depression on sheer will power. It's not easy and when I go into a deep episode it takes me weeks to come out of it. My current living situation isn't helping either...lol

I do know I have got to find a "purpose" to keep on, and right now that seems to be one of my biggest issues. I've tried looking online for support of COPD but most that have the condition are over 60 and with me being in my 40's I just can't relate to most of them. It's one of the reasons I like coming here!! There are a variety of us and I get the feeling more that will help me being rather young. One of the factors I know I have to find out is if mine is genetic due to my age. BUT, again it all depends on the SSI and when I get to seek reg medical care.

It's just hard dealing with it all at once, I've been battleing the depression for years anyway, and this is just compounding the problem. I have another post in the depression forums to try and find support due to all the death I've already dealt with in my immed family for the past two years...and this just seems like " dear lord what else could possibly go wrong in my life" ?

<big sigh> Thanks again ladies...just being able to talk to someone who doesnt' tell me to think of someone worse off than me means a lot. I just can't believe some peoples train of thought sometimes when you tell them what's going on with yourself. I know they mean well..but right now, that doesn't seem to matter to me...in fact that's half my problem...I just came seem to find the gumption to care about much of anything lately. Least of all myself.