Quote:
Originally Posted by Christina86
Did you learn any grounding activities in therapy to help?
YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. I PROMISE YOU THAT MUCH, BECAUSE WE WILL BE WITH YOU NO MATTER WHAT. Okay?  I may not understand all of what you've been through, but if you need someone to talk to (even about the triggering stuff) - please PM me, okay? I want to be able to help if I can - don't go through this alone, you've got friends here and people who care about you and your wellbeing.
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thank you, Christina. That really means a lot to me. It helps to not feel so alone. I'm trying to remember what T said, I know we talked at the end of the session about what I should do if I started feeling worse. She even specifically addressed what I should think/tell myself if I had urges to self harm, but I can't remember anything now, my brain is just blank
I can't even remember what she said when I called her on the phone last, which I think was the day after my session or something? I don't know, it's all a blur of nightmares & flashbacks & horror.
Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
((((((((((((((((((zoo)))))))))))))))))))
It will NOT be this bad forever. I want you to hear that SO badly that I am going to type it again: it will NOT be this bad forever.
When I first started trauma work with T, it was AWFUL. I felt like I had ruined my life...like I had allowed all of these memories to come to the surface, but like dealing with them left me flooded with flashbacks/feelings/self-loathing, etc....it felt like the biggest mistake I had ever made. |
(((tree))) I started crying when I read that, tree, because it's how I feel *exactly*. Thank you so much. I have been feeling so hopeless because it seems like I CHOSE to do this to myself & also that this was my only hope to ever get better and it's not going to work so I'm basically screwed & stuck in hell & yeah, my thoughts have just been spiraling out of control from there. So thanks for letting me know that you felt the same way, and that it's not forever.
I didn't really sleep last night, when I did fall asleep it was horrible so I just finally gave up. I'm just trying to get through until my session w/T on Monday at this point, but as I get lower & lower I'm starting to think that won't even help & how can I possibly explain to her what's going on with me.
I don't WANT to go in there & be a wreck, I'm ashamed at how hard this has been on me, I don't know what to do next, I just don't know. So I'm thinking of just not going to my next session, and just trying to put the lid back on this whole pandora's box I opened up.
