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Nov 28, 2009, 01:20 PM
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I've wanted to do this for awhile..
the most i ever did was use an aluminum foil ball. I've tried one of those survival kit ones but it was so sharp..I only could succeed in getting a mere scratch.
I remember when I was first depressed I was so scared. Once, I hid my scissors for fear of this. I also didn't want to hurt my wrists, just only my upper arm..but now, i only think of my wrist. 
I don't hide scissors anymore b/c i feel like I have the control. But i feel tempted when things happen (ex: i do something wrong..). when i want to do it, i just scratch myself, but it never feels like enough.
i never did it because i never wanted anyone to see scars, i cared so much about what people think (AND I STILL DO)...but gosh man...
i guess what i'm saying is...these feelings are bothering me. my mind is going insane, i want to do it, but i care too much about what others would say, and i'm kinda scared when i see my veins too...i don't want blood gushing out but i still want to see a little blood. i feel like i need to do this.
:'(
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