Dear Amyz ~ I know what it is not to be able to cry. In my case, I believe it is antidepressants that numb my feelings, but it can be learned as well. I was not able to cry at or after the death of my dear mother, in 2002. I felt terrible however, with conflicted feelings of missing her and knowing that her suffering had ended. A few months later, however, a cousin sent me a book called Silver Boxes, which was about giving the gifts of validation and support to others. He wrote in it that he thought of my mother when he saw the book, because she was always so supportive of others. That did it for me. I cried continuously for a couple of days. I cried alone, but still it brought closure to me and was a vast relief. Sometimes hearing a song that my mother particularly liked would subsequently bring tears. Something will trigger needed tears when you are ready, and you are right, trying to do it will not help. I had a therapist for awhile, years after mother's death, and for some reason, guilt I think over not being close enough to care for my father, I broke into tears in her office, finally lying down on the rug between us and sobbing with abandon. She did not hug me, but she uttered comforting words as I spent the session sobbing. It helped. It is not certain what little thing may trigger your tears, but it will happen. Whether alone or otherwise, you will find relief. I am truly sorry about your grandmother. I am of the belief that the energy that makes up our inner beings never dies and that the personality remains intact. I hope that you have similar beliefs, and they are comforting. Know that you are cared about here ~ billieJ