Oh, dear leacon, I know what you mean ~ my married and only brother, whom I care about deeply, has no interest in me, and my father is 86, so that I must assume he will not be around long. I will say that in 1982 he had severe orofacial cancer, had to have an eye removed, but thereafter remained in excellent remission. I hope that that gives you some consolation. I know what is it to lose a parent since my mother passed in 2002. It is indeed a sorrowful and painful and even very strange experience, but someone said the following about their own mother's death, which was of great help to me: "I just think about her as still being around someplace." It is my personal belief that the essence of the individual does not die, and this is a comfort to me. I hope that you have other family or friends to rely upon. If not, try to reach out and help others. You will make good friends this way, and it will be a great help to you in the absence of close family members. Remember that you will have support and friendship at PC, whenever you need it! ~ billieJ