I don't know which is harder, living and being around people and feeling lonely or being physically isolated on disability and stuck at home and unsure how to go about making friends etc. Remember this though....you are not alone. I am sure there are others in your same type of situation who are also pretending all is well so no one is aware they are hurting. Reach out ....just a bit. You may be surprised. I have pretended for 30 years and it gets me nowhere. Let people know who you are and you might just find that there are folks who understand and need a friend as much as you do. Good luck and bless! Tonih