Dear #1 ~ I would imagine that when you say you are fat, you refer to the average weight of most women. I, too, think I am fat if I get over 105, but I have a normal appetite. I have reflux, and sometimes I throw up for this reason, or due to anxiety, but I don't do it purposely. The above responders have some really good input. I am too concerned with having a little energy to have ED, as I know that without some food, I will have none. Bless you for abstaining from your ED urges for so long. I am glad that you have family who see to it that you eat. Have you tried nutritional drinks. These do not put on weight, but can keep up your nutrition. You have to eat, too, of course. You will come to value your health more if you begin to lose it. Please have foresight and avoid that inevitable outcome of ED. A friend ~ billieJ