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I have so much shame. I feel like a failure & am ashamed of feeling so needy & scared & alone.
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Oh, zoo, I so get this. I am in the middle of some deep dark gross trauma stuff with T now too, and it's brutal. I'm ashamed of what happened to me, and I'm ashamed of hurting now, and I'm ashamed of needing T's help. I feel like I can't win with myself: there is always something else to be ashamed of.
I am so impressed with everything you do to cope right now. The tactile stuff can be so helpful, yeah? I do lots of art, too. Even if it's just coloring a page in my journal all black. I have quite a few black pages in there now, to be honest.
You are doing great. We all are, truth be told.