For how long and how do you live (as in make a living) in the meantime. I want to tell everyone around me that I just can't be obligated anymore and the guilt of that is overwhelmingly sad and there is "no spot to move on the chessboard" of life anymore. I just want to be alone and even when you share the real info, then they want to check on you and drop by...the last bloody thing I need is unexpected visitors in this funky drama. How long does it last. When does it end? Why do I have it...all things no one can likely answer but I like answers. Like them alot.