Not sure where to start, just joined today and I am seeing a therapist (50 mins 1-2x per week, just not enough). I am just in all around trouble...meaning I have had real pain some days/most days, back and neck now for several months and emotional pain and somehow they are connected. I call it the pain funk. The physical pain seems to come first and my mind CANNOT or WILL NOT think of anything else and within hour(s) will be in complete catastrophic state...all is bad, everything is wrong, yadayadayada. I am down to planning 1 thing per day and that's if the start time is flexible...I cannot bear the stress of 2-3 things in a day and as a CEO (small company but for history purposes) could do talk to a minimum of 60-80 people per day (really, daily for 25 years). Now I'm fortunate to want to speak to anyone and if I do, I've carefully orchestrated responses that will keep them at bay, frequently intoned single word responses. Beyond that the only thing that makes me happy is cleaning my house (never done that in my adult life) or doing very menial tasks. They actually make me happy. Briefly. Feel like cannot even hold my head up most of the day but when I lay down, sleep never comes. I can go 2-3 days without sleep easily, especially if I have obligations that have to be met.

What gives? My real question is has anyone else felt like there's this pain funk thing and although I know the onset of the severity of whats happening (it's been coming on for about 5 years, panic attacks, hiding out from responsibility, covering up, etc.) how the hell did no one notice??????