(((deli)))
Quote:
Originally Posted by deliquesce
but what if i encouraged it? what if i was the one who initiated it? that skinny kid you described - wouldn't you think he was partly responsible if he kept going up to the bullies and throwing stones? maybe he gets something out of being hurt and so kept encouraging it.
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I believe that the things the keep repeating in our lives are there for us to learn from. Whatever that repeating pattern might be.
From my own experiences, I found that I kept attracting people who would take advantage of me. I would be furious at the people who mis-treated me, and then I would extend my trust again, and be mistreated again. Somehow, something in me was telling these people that I would not stand up for myself. To heal from this I had to first find compassion for myself. Once I found a place of forgiveness, then I had to take loving responsibility.
I discovered that because I didn't honestly believe I was 'worth it', other people didn't believe it either. This doesn't mean I'm a 'bad' person, but it does mean that in the past I was taught that it was not 'ok' to stand up for my own needs. So, I had to really stop and consider what 'taking care of my needs' and 'loving myself' might look like.
Try to find a place of compassion for yourself. Whatever happened in the past, you are not a 'bad' person.
