I just have to talk about this some more. This idea of caring so much for someone...really feeling love for them...and knowing they don't want to be part of your life. It's very painful, and for me, like a death, only not a death. In some ways, it's harder than if the person had really died. At least, that way there would be finality.
I've struggled with my own recovery from this same situation for several months now, and posted adnauseum about it here. I'm sure people are sick of reading my thoughts about it.
I just returned from a trip to visit my twin grandsons, during which time I kept thinking about the man...who rejected me. But driving back home (3.5 hours), I had one of those (what I call) "epiphanies." It was that my HAPPINESS and emotional well-being are worth more than any feelings I may have had for the man. Worth more than any of the qualities I saw in him which were so attractive and endearing to me. Worth more than waking each day with thoughts of him, and ending each day the same. The man is not here, and has made it clear he doesn't want me. So, in a moment of blessed clarity, I realized my key to happiness is to stop the thoughts of him. Now, I'm practicing that, and it seems to be working!
The question you must ask yourself is, "Do you really want someone who doesn't want you?" How much of your emotional energy is worth it in recovering? Months? Years? I think one more second devoted to someone who has rejected us is unwarranted.
Peaceful thoughts,
Seeker