I hate T's stupid boundaries. I did e-mail him and tell him how I am feeling. He won't respond, because I didn't specifically ask him to. Sometimes I wish we could just be normal people and just communicate without me having to beg for everything.

I feel like a big nobody. I don't want to feel like a big nobody. But I do. And there's nothing T can do to fix it. He already apologized. I just have to forgive him and move on.

Pretending that I matter and that he actually cares just feels too ****ing hard sometimes. I honestly just want to take about 345845093875092485720943578 klonopin and go to sleep. I won't. I don't plan to.

Sometimes i just feel really alone