One thing that I do know is that it wasn't a sham for the past five years.... the love was real as I know that no one can for Mark to do anything he doesn't want.

I am too emotionally attached, you are right... i know he's going to call me tonight and I just don't even know if I should take the call.....I'm scared of losing him from my life completly but at the same time I don't want to hold on to friendship just because it's better than nothing at all.

Over time I think that we will grow apart naturally...