(((Kate)))) I think on of the most terrifying things about depression is how it can leave you so afraid that every bump in the road is the start of a new episode, and still it manages to sneak up and pounce. At least with me. So, welcome. I think you have met and will meet many who share your feelings and experiences. I noticed you are already getting a lot of good advice, so I'll just wave my little hand and say "hi" ! Huggss!