Amen.
Never forget that inside all of the chaos and storm there is the person who you have always loved. They are still there.
I remember talking to a woman being discharged from the hospital. She had been diagnosed with a horrible autoimmune disease. Her family, which comes from a culture where such illness is considered shamefull and a punishment for past ills, had abandoned her. She had no where to go. I just remember seeing her silently sitting there, head bowed, trying to get up the courage to go out those doors, and thinking,
"that's what it feels like to have everyone turn their backs."
that's how it felt when my relatives accuse me of doing things for attention.
that's how it feels when my mother says "I can't handle both your father and you".
That's how it feels when my family laughs when my adrenaline goes crazy and leaves me on my knees throwing up or shaking after a scare.
That's how it feels when people call me lazy for not being able to crawl out of bed and excercise before work.
That's what it feels like to have every coping mechanism I have for this disease brushed away as "excuses" whenever people find it convenient.
I no longer talk about it much to people, but that is self protection. It doesn't mean I don't suffer from it all the same.
Sorry for the low mood. Been a long day. Huggs.