it all started a while ago when i had my two best friends Nr and Ca. we were in the town one day and there was a guy i really liked, and we talked and i got his numer whuch was all good. i felt so happy.
we texted each other all the time and even met up and everything. i had made it clear to my friends that i really liked the guy, and he made me happy. then one day Ca asked for his number and said it was so she could ask for his friends number from him.
oviously i didnt mind, so i asked him if it was ok to give her his number and he said sure.
a while after, CA texted me asking if i hated her. i have known her since i was a baby, and thought she trusted me. so i said no of course i dont why? and she said she had been talking to her ex who told her i hated her. this went on for a while till i convinced her i didnt hate her.

it still really hurt me, that she trusted her ex more than her lifetime friend. it was as if someone stabbed me.

then she started on Nr asking her why she hated her and so on. when Nr told her she didnt hate her Ca started asking me why Nr hated her. i told her Nr didnt hate er but she wouldnt listen. she then started calling her names to my face, and i told her to stop it, Nr had done nothing wrong. Ca wouldnt listen, and this again eally hurt me becaus me and Nr had been friends for about 6 years. we go to the same school and are inseperable. sometimes its even as if we have our own little phyic link!

in the end Ca stopped talking to us. now she talkes to me.
then the guy i liked texted me asking for a picture of careyann. i hadnt spoke to her in about 2 weeks. i felt kinda suspicious, because he hadnt spoke to me in about 2 weeks except when he wanted to.

i didnt send him a pic because i didnt know if she wanted one sent or not.

she texted me today, and said she was meeting up with the guy, in the town, and it was just the two of them. she knew liked him. yet she just texted me to tell me. i felt so crap. its almost as if she was doing it to get back at me for her falling out with me. then she told me Nr's boyfriend liked me and her beter than Nr so i just said goodbye.

its stupid falling out over a guy. i didnt choose to, she did. i tried me best but in the end she just kept hurting me.

i have lotsa smaller problems but this one nearly made me SI but i didnt.
recently i have come up with a diferent way of dealing with my problems but no one really cares, if people here at home cared as much as they let on, they would realize i need help and send me to the doctor.

now i stop eating. when someone upsets me or annoys me, i stop eating, kinda as a way to show your not my owner, im not your pet dog. its nearly as if its a way of getting back at them.

im now told nearly everyday im too skinny, im anorexic, im sick, my mum even believes i might have diabetis (she has type 1) but i dont. im starting to scare mysellf and everything is getting more and more for me and anyone who i have told has turned away from me, or ignored my problems. i want t tell NR but she pretty bad and i dont think she could handle me being "sick". i really dont know wat im doing. but i cant talk to my family, or friends, or helplines, because my mum checks the numbers on the phone bill. the doctor is during school so thats out too. im really trapped.