My boyfriend of 1 1/2 years suddenly decided to go back to his ex-wife with no warning. They have been divorced for 5 years but she never got over him and moved on with her life.
Anyway we had a great relationship and never fought, we always talked things out. We love each other deeply. It's a long story, I won't go into the details. The problem is I am suffering intensely. The weekends are horrible because I am usually alone now on the weekends and the two days are like torture, I have all this free time to think about how much I hurt.
I am sort of trying to keep busy but I am stuck in grief and I can barely bring myself to do anything.
I am seeing a counslor now and I am going to church to try to help myself heal. It has been about a month since we split. We still talk and we vowed never to give up our friendship. Of course I am angry and I feel betrayed. He feels terrible that he hurt me.
I just need help dealing with this awful grief and depression. I feel like I am losing my mind. All weekend I have basically sat in my bedroom and it feels like a prison cell. I know I need to get out and do things, but I feel paralyzed by the grief and shock over him doing this.
I have called a couple of friends to try to talk about it and they are sympathetic but they are caught up in their own lives. So I sit here feeling like I am going crazy. I can barely eat or sleep.
At least sleep is an escape but I have trouble sleeping.
Sometimes I feel panicky and I just pray someone will call me so I can talk....I hate to burden my friends and family over and over with this stuff so I try not to call them too much. I feel so needy and vulnerable right now. I am actually looking forward to going to work tomorrow just so I can have something else to focus on.
If you are reading this, please pray for me...that is what I need most right now. I already know I need counseling and support and that I need to get out and interact with the world. I will in time but I am not ready yet.