I get itchy when I hear the word "should." When I got out of high school and went to college, I dropped out of my first year with a 1.5 GPA. I had been told I "should" go, and told that was what people did with their lives. After all, my sister had graduated with a Nursing degree and was on the Dean's List, all the while she was newly married. Three of my six brothers and sisters had gone that route as well, working hard, graduating, getting married, having kids, getting solid jobs. (I called it "following the plan.")

Here I was, a college drop out, working at a burger joint, couldn't seem to get my life together. No one realized at the time that I was probably burned out and depressed, in a deep funk and in need of some gentle support and a change of pace for awhile. I struggled for two years more at low-paying work with no respect, and finally got some marvellous therapy from a capable person. Suddenly, I realized that now that everyone wasn't pressuring me anymore, there were some solid reasons why I *wanted* to go to college, and those reasons were completely for me. It made all the difference in my chances for success.

I graduated with a 3.6 GPA, hit the Dean's list and stayed on it, and went on to earn two more degrees.

Here's the point - twenty years from now, it won't matter who went first or which of your siblings did what or how long it took you to do it compared to them. What will matter is what you did for yourself - whether you were kind to yourself, whether you took care of yourself, whether you invested in yourself and your future.