HI Dreamer,

Does your current T hold you like that? What a wonderful story, thanks for sharing that with me. It is awesome that your T can be that honest with you on how she feels in the moment.

I guess I can vaguely talk about the dreams... the first one was a very tender and loving experience.

I think that dream represents a part in therapy with him where he was totally sweet with me. One memory of many I have of him being this way was when I bought myself a birthday present- a new trumpet! My trumpet teacher helped me pick it out of 30 other trumpets. It was a Bach Strad, no doubt, the best of the best. Well I was telling T that my jazz band instructor told me my new trumpet just sings when I play. My T then said, "a lot like you." So stuff like that, just sweet stuff.

Then the other dream can be summed up by the tension, the tension you see in movies with 2 people who are fighting or arguing who really are attracted to one another and than bam, that tension turns to something really powerful and erotic when they come together.

There was sexual tension in the room, no doubt about that. We would instead get into these philosophical debates all the time, we were matched similarly intellectually and he told me once that a smart women turns him on. But we got intellectual tense instead, it actually felt like a rush afterwords, we could debate against each other without any anger, just fun. He used to frustrate me all the time and he knew he did this, I think he enjoyed doing that. But he could make me laugh and all the tension would go away. And that frustrated me too because he was able to charm his way out of it. So I guess his action now at the gym feels like that to me because I am not sure I am ready to forget my anger and hurt about him, and when I don't see him, it is no problems, but as soon as I see him smile at me, the anger melts away. (kinda pisses me off in a way that he can do this) This kind of tension can feel sexual, so I think that was what the dream was about.