Well from my experience, I let my littles decide for themselves if they want to "grow up" is the word we use for integration. Its totally their choice if they want to cause it wouldn't be right for me to make that call. I had several who choose to grow up after telling their stories they held and some who may never grow up, but thats totally okay with me. I enjoy having their company and I know I can do whatever I want still with having them. Do whatever works for you