I just had a convo with my T i think last week where we talked about the odd relationship between "dr" "T" "Specialist" and "client" "patient". How in any other medical format, we the patient goes in to see the dr becauser we're sick, in pain, can't fix it ourselves.... the whole friggin POINT of seeing the dr is to get it fixed. But in the context of therapy, unfortunately, it isn't the point. Sadly, most of us don't know that when we show up. "You're the Dr, I'm the patient, I'm in MORE PAIN than I can function with, You know what' you're doing - fix it." And they can't. It is totally unfair. TOTALLY UNFAIR. yet, there it is. we, the patients, have to do the "fixing" under the watchful, knowledgable gaze of the pro. They ask questions to get us to look deeper at ourselves... they are like the miner's light on the helmet being worn by the hiker going in the cave. They illuminate the next step, the next question, the next ouch.
It is not in their power to fix us, stop us for SI or sui, heal us, lift us out of the darkness. I wish someone had told me that loooooooooooooooong before i started. But now that I have started, i can't turn back. I can never again be that person i was before therapy started illuminating *why* the problems in my life are there. THey can't even stop the same problems from reoccuring. All they can do is give us an new vantage point. A new way of interpreting it. Show us how others might do it to get a different result.

WHy this long email? Not to further cause you pain, or say things to hurt you. only to maybe illuminate something new, so you can turn yourself around and stop waiting for T to do it. It's not that T won't. It's that T *can't*. It is not in their power. It is only in YOUR power. hard to hear - but true. hope things get better *hugs*