I'm suffering from program burnout. I've been working 50 hours a week and by the time I'm done with work I want to just go home and lay in bed and relax to the tv. I never have the motivation to read my big book, write, do stepwork. I've been on the phone a lot less. I'm on my 8th step, but so far the only person on my list is my grandma, and I haven't made the amends to her yet. I brought all this up in a meeting last night. The only reason I even went to the meeting was because I was hanging out with my friend and we were crossstitching and she wanted to go, so we went together. I got some great suggestions, like trying different meetings, setting up a schedule with my sponser so I know when I need to have stuff done, stuff like that. I have done some different meetings, and I realized also that I had switched sponsers right after my 5th step, so I'm thinking maybe I need to go back to 4 and 5 with my new sponser. I'm in a tough situation because my homegroup is very far from home, but close to work, so it's tough to make it on weekends, and my sponser lives over there as well and right now she only has time on the weekends because she's getting ready to start school (she's a teacher). I realized last night that I need to call my sponser and suggest working back in the steps, and telling her to give me dates to have things read, but I can't seem to find the motivation to call her. I've been up for awhile and haven't gotten anything done. I usually do laundry on sundays. I'm being so slothful right now and I know that. I just never feel like I have time to just do nothing. People scared me last night though when they said they related, that they pulled away from the program too, and they drank. I don't want to do that. I don't want to drink, but they said they didn't either. They said the problem was, by pulling away from the program, they didn't have the defense against the drink when the situation presented itself. I have 99 days today, and I know that a lot of people start balking and end up drinking again after they pass the 90 day mark. I don't want to do that. Experience strenth and hope?

~Rayna

PS-No one's in chat, haha, maybe I'll actually call my sponser now.