Patricia THANK YOU from all of my HEART and SOUL you have hit upon alot and brought tears to my eyes tonight ....I do stay "married"for somewhat financial reasons health insurance for myself and my sons he is their stepdad but put them on when we got married he has very good benefits unfortunately if we were to get a legal seperation or divorce all dependents get dropped and if court ordered would only be for me and he would have to pay the cobra amount (he would either kill himself,me or go to jail beore that happened).Even though as you know my heart bleeds for the SOB why I don't know....but I have wasted years ...and as tempted as I have been to call his house when hes at work and chew her out and tell her to find someone else who's not married I don't....sometimes feel sorry for her ..."the wife is still here,even if not in sight or his heart,legally still his wife and if anything happened she would be out in the cold unfortunately as I saw this happen to someone like her who lived with a man for 15 years who was married still and the GF left homeless when he had a massive heart attack ...the invisible wife but still legally the wife got everything ..

I am thankful

I will join you most of the way as to no contact with him except ,I will have to end of Jan. we still file married jointly same address and I do the taxes ....I will get my half need it I figure my youngest will be 23 in 4 and a half years at which time wont be covered by insurance anymore and we will be legally married little over 10 years if he hasn't filed before then I will ....Crazy you think maybe but in my crooked twisted head at least our insurance needs will have been met and my disability check will double can use his earnings after married 10 years and it wont take a penny from him therefor avoiding his possible violent whatever I see could happen if even a penny were to come out of his pocket personally.

I am thankful for finding this site ,thankful you encouraged me to start a post,sincerely look forward to replies....and very thankful to feel like someone is finally listening and hearing me for the first time in years

Kay