Perhaps you want to walk away from the realization that therapy isn't magic after all.
Addictions/substance abuse has a similar 'magic' aspect to it.
You walked away from one magical solution in your life. Could it be that the 'magic' you wish for isn't there in therapy. Yet it doesn't need to be. Therapy works because therapy is real.
I don't know, but I think your idea of 'magic' is intriguing.