I agree with others that the best thing to do in response to your doctor's request is to tell him you are not comfortable with it. He gave you that option, so take advantage of it.
Also, I suspect that if you try to do as he requests, the "performing on demand" will not be the same as what ordinarily happens spontaneously. That is likely to lead him to misunderstanding you more than understanding you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MickG
I am still trying to find my place in therapy and am not certain what I want my doctor to help me with. Medications have not helped and I believe I will always hear voices and I sometimes think because I am managing perhaps his skills are best put to use helping someone else. This sort of life is a heavy one though and perhaps the best part of therapy is in knowing that I am heard.
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This shows a lot of wisdom. It sounds like you are high functioning and able to figure out strategies for managing your condition and implement them on your own. Still, as you say, your life is a heavy one to deal with. It sounds to me like therapy could be helpful to you by being a place that is supportive (according to your perception of supportive -- for example, knowing that you are heard, as you have said -- which may not necessarily be the same as the therapist's), accepting of you as a whole person, and understanding of the burden you are living with. But the therapist needs to accept this goal and be able to behave accordingly.
Also (and perhaps this is bringing in my own personal concerns too much), I can't help but wonder if perhaps this therapist is too focused on treating you as an "object" to understand and not enough on respecting your boundaries as another human being. But doing as we all advise might in fact help him see where your boundaries are and help him respect them/you more.