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Dec 02, 2009, 05:01 PM
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Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 9,092
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I feel like such a fraud.
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Why? A fraud regarding what?
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My entire life has been about making my parents proud -- it took me until last year to realize that my happiness was not directly related to my parents' happiness.
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Well said. Like you, I have looked too much to my parents for approval in the past.
You say you feel like you're a fraud. You say you feel your good points are worthless/don't matter. And you feel your shortcomings mean everything.
And you say you "don't know who you are anymore".
I think you identify yourself with your job, your work, your grades. But you are so much more than that. These things are PART of who you are, but not the sum of it all. Maybe you need something new to hang onto - it sounds like you've been hanging onto a perceived view of yourself, of a grade A student, perfect, your parent's perfect child, someone who can handle all the pressure of school easily. You might need to change your self image a bit, not in a negative way. In a positive one. What do you stand for? What do you believe in.
Also, I'm curious, would you mind sharing your list of good things about yourself? I'd be curious  what you think of yourself.
I'm not sure if I said the right things here, I'm not sure of much. Regardless I'm sending hugs and positive thoughts your way. I REALLY wish we lived nearby so I could take you out to the local coffee shop 
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Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.
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