Quote:
Originally Posted by jerrymichele
My bf right now is having some issues. He just started talking to me again. I still have no idea what he was upset about. I have already brought up therapy in the past, so I'm going to do it again in a few days. I don't want to seem to pushy with him. Alot of the questions I have asked is not just solely on my bf. I have seen what my ex has done, and I have seen other men do it. I think that there are some men who try to be really sneaky. In my 20's I use to go out with my friends. I seen men go in to the clubs with wifves, gf's etc. Well one time my friend and I got up to dance, and she was like pat the guys on the butt, but don't let the women see you. Well we were both doing that, and not one of those guys said anything to us. I have seen some men flirt with other women when they are with their signifant other behind their back. Really I'm just trying to figure out the logic behind all of these questions. It's just like when your watching a movie with your guy (meaning some guys) and there is some female nudity in it. Well I don't (in my case) get all upset when my bf see's some boobs, but if it is reversed it's like it's a double standard. I have had some of my friends tell me the same thing.
The blaming goes with both sex's (in some, not all) When I asked the question about being blamed, thats what it feels like. I just wish that in my case we could talk about the anger instead of blowing up about it.
My bf doesn't really say to much about going out with certain people. When I was still talking to my sister, her husband would throw a fit if we went and lunch together. I have had some friends like this. When I was married to my ex it was the same way.  |
HHhmmm yes, there does seem to be a double standard in the general population.......men "seem" to get away with more than women......or, women are criticised and ostracised for displaying "male" behaviour.......I have often been accused of that by other women. I have followed my instincts, been aggressive, said no, said yes, and not listened to anybody......maybe I am a little stubborn, no?
I have also acquiesced, sacrificed myself, lain prostrate in an act of supplication to avoid danger and so on.......so I don't really know......I think the thoughts of the many(the population) are outweighing the needs of the few(us) in this topic......in other words what we are brought up with and through experience shapes what we belive.......but history is fluid especially when it comes to humanity and human behaviour
. Lets forget the stereotypes and concentrate on what WE want.......
All I do know is that if your boyfriend is not respectful, compassionate, observes physical/emotional/mental boundaries etc. then that is his issue, not yours. It is not a reflection of you. I am sorry if I sound simplistic, for relationships are anything but simple, but my words are for you......you are the #1 in this equation. If you are respectful and laid back and are willing to respect his spiritual freedom, then you have every right to ask the same.
I am a little biased babe, I am a terrible misanthropist and cynic.......but I am also willing to concede that there are wonderful people out there......and we just got to wait patiently, building on our wonderful selves, in preparation for......simplicity and joy.
Take good care of #1.........you.
In stillness,
Michah