(((((Dream))))) Im sorry I am coming to your thread late
No worries, Blue - thanks for coming!

What struck me, through your anger at T and how you are "all" processing it is the love and caring your little parts have for your adult self. They want to protect you and hold your feelings, maybe until you are ready to feel comfortable expressing them as your adult self?
That's so interesting, Blue, because I see it as my little ones being mad at adult me for standing between them and T. T and I discussed that today even. But maybe, just maybe, some of the things that my little ones want (to be comforted, loved, held by T) adult me can admit to wanting one day. T asked me today what I wanted - part of me wanted to say, "To jump in your lap and have you rock me" - obviously, that is a very young part of me, but I feel it in there. I did tell T that my little ones want to continue to be comforted, and even held, by her, and that adult me wants to get our relationship back to where it was so we can grow it more, and move toward my goals.
And the respect you have for your little selves. Allowing them their expression without (too much?)judgement or shame.
I do respect them, and I'm trying to understand them more. I even asked T today, how can all this exist in my brain? T said that as a child, my experiences weren't mirrored or even shared oftentimes, so now I've found this pathway to these childhood experiences through the writing, so it's like adult me is hearing and validating these experiences and feelings of my little ones - and they need it, I told T that they need to know that their feelings are justified and that they matter.

You are and your T truly sound like a perfect fit. She understands how much meaning there is in your letters to her, line by line, feeling by feeling. That she wants you and she to go deeper with each feeling. She isnt afraid.
She's not afraid at all. I was so afraid to read her some of the things in those letters, and we talked about that, how I didn't really let go of my emotions because I wanted to see what T's reaction would be to the letters - her first words were "Thank you for sharing those with me."

I love that she is so unafraid that she is willing to look within herself this way about why she said what she did, and the powerful effect it had on you. Her remarks had a powerful effect on me! In a way, her remarks were a way for some of those feelings to come to the surface in your letters, as painful and self-hating as they were, they are your feelings and Im sure they are deep and affect your profoundly.
They are very deep feelings, I'm still trying to understand them all. And I made a very important connection today between T's comment that hurt me so badly a few sessions ago, and my mother's judgement of me - so T really triggered that pain that used to come up whenever my mother would criticize me.

You are doing such amazing work with T. I am glad you are able to see her twice/week to process better. Wow