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turquoisesea · Dec 03, 2009, 12:50 AM

I am feeling really overwhelmed with my life right now so I'm taking a step back to evaluate "where I am" right now. I am hoping that typing this out will help me. I am also hoping that in posting this I can get some feedback, advice, and keep my PC friends updated (*wow now I feel self centered*).

If you don't feel like reading all the details skip to the next set of smilies ^.^

General Health: I am not sick, but I'm not 100pct either. I am tired most of the time. I am completely out of shape, things like walking quickly and a bit farther than normal or running up ONE flight of stairs can get to me. Sometimes there is low grade pain or muscle fatigue in my arm and hand muscles when I play the cello.

General Habits:

Positives:
~I keep myself cleaned, showered, etc.
~I am generally aware of my feelings, and try to resolve them before they sit too long.

Negatives:
~My sleep is not the best. I'm not sure of the cause but its probably a combination of stress, sleeping with my boyfriend on a bed meant for just one person, not having optimal sleep when my boyfriend stays up or when the cats wake me up, etc.
~My eating is fluctuating, and I'm having trouble keeping it at an ok level. This is getting better though.
~Sleep schedule has been sporadic since being sick.
~I barely practice, and if I do it's not on a schedule

Mental Health: Unknown. Its so hard to label. I am depressed from time to time, especially lately. In the past week at least one day was totally lost to depression, but it's not SUPER low, no where near where I've been in the past. When I get overhwelmed I become non-functional, this is what is starting to happen. I am actively isolating for various reasons. POSITIVE: I think I found a new therapist (assuming she's ok with the insurance, we're pretty sure but she's double checking this week)

Living arrangment: I am trying to find an apartment. I am also trying to find a room-mate so I can accept the AMAZING 2 bedroom apartment we are being offered by our landlords *which makes me a bit nervous*

Social: I feel VERY isolated. I also feel that I may have lost a precious friend.

Work: I am doing ok at work but my fatigue and general sadness do bring me down a bit. Money isn't as forthcoming because of the season's lack of business.

School: YAY I can go back next semester!

Other responsibilities: there are many small responsibilities that I can't quite get done and that are pressuring me, stuff that *should* be easy but aren't

Future: I am looking forward to holiday "break" with family. I am nervous about going back to school because I"m afraid that somehow I won't be able to handle it and depression will somehow stop success. I am unsure if I can handle a job ontop of school.

Past: I have come to terms with some of my past, but DEFINITELY no where near all of it.

Sorry for the length, and thank you if you read.
What I'm seeing in this post is that I have a lot of stressors in my life right now. I don't know how to respond to most of them and they're dragging me down. I need to change some life habits, especially exercise eating and sleep schedule. I need to seek further help from the new Therapist if possible.

What I'm asking you is you have any advice, and observations.
Or, just some hugs?