I give and I give. I always try to be supportive of people when I can I'm patient and understanding and empathetic at least I perceive myself to be. I don't post much in the forums but am in chat most of the time I'm online. But I'm human.

I joined PC to get help for myself too. Whenever I need support I do the appropriate thing and go to support chat or I'll create my own room to get it. Do I get it though? As far as I'm aware of the answer is "No". Plain and simple. I go into support sometimes alone for an hour before anyone comes in that's fine I don't mind waiting for people to notice someone's in there. I tend to think when someone comes in "oh good now someone will listen and be kind and supportive and maybe offer appropriate advice." but guess what happens. They go on and on about their own thing then after a while thank me for being a good friend then leave me. Or other times like tonight there's 9 other people already in support (and I'm proud to say they actually were supporting someone and not just visiting about the latest band or whatever random stuff that comes to mind). The topic tonight was triggering for me so I was in and out trying to stay supportive didn't go so well since I was in the frame of mind of getting help not giving. Then when I thought maybe I could get help someone else was repeating the same thing she was talking about six hours ago and that just made me feel something very pent up trying to force his way out. So I had to leave or something bad would happen.

So I thought after a few weeks of stuff like this going on that maybe if I make my own room people will come in and hear me out. It actually worked . . .well sometimes. Tonight's not one of those nights. None of my closer friends are online I guess or just nobody's noticed I'm having a really bad night/week whatever this is. I just want to know that I'm still cared for. We've been getting a lot of new people in chat that I don't know and they don't have the respect for others like the older crowd do. PC isn't seeming like that safe haven it was even a couple weeks ago.

What can I do when the one person comes into chat that's always stuck on the same issue we already answered earlier? It's like they don't listen or they're hoping for a different answer just cause we disagree or they perceive it to be a disagreement? If they want a specific answer they can ask themselves cause they're not going to get it from me. The people who know me here know that I'm not easily irritated but this person is bringing out the worse in me and I'm not liking how it makes me feel. Please help????

Yes, I'm feeling self-pity. I feel like nobody gives a care about me. I feel like my struggles aren't even worth mentioning cause god knows so-and-so got a splinter in their finger and are going to die. I feel like the woman who talks about child labor and their husband says "I know exactly what you mean I stubbed my toe and never felt such excruciating pain." . . .I don't even know why I'm bothering to write this. Nobody's going to read it and if they do they won't even make it known that they read it. I'm probably just pissing off someone else who's thinking "ugh that fox is so annoying all she does is complain." or "she's just fishing for attention lets ignore her.". Well the truth is I do want attention I want to know that I matter I want to know that I'm liked. But I only want to hear it if it's the truth not just cause now you're obligated to say it just cause I asked. I hate myself for doing this but I have to or I'd hate myself more for not even trying. Thank you for reading this if you did. If not screw you and it's okay for me to say that cause you didn't read it .. . . it's a joke get it??? No? okay yes I'm pathetic. . . and you're still reading. . . .and I'm still typing. Gah! D:

-Fox