Ive had eating problems for so long I dont even know where to start, and before it gets too far into the post, I want to first tell everyone who reads this who has GAD *generalized anxiety disorder* I know the right way to eat, I know what you need to do to be healthy and I know all of the exercises and healthy diet and all of that stuff, but with my GAD I dont listen to myself.

As a child of abuse I learned along time ago to protect myself from harm.... Get Fat...*no I know that wasnt the right thing to do* I come from a family of alcoholics and druggies so I picked food as my drug of choice. Tho I never saw it.. common I know I was never Fat as a teen, when I thought I was fat..Im irish, Im big boned but then I had my first son, and wow I blew up. miserable relationship and unhappy thoughts and thats when I was diagnosed OCD. so there
I start to notice what Im doing.. Lose a few pounds then I start to feel guilty from eating so Id go 3 or 4 days with noting..coffee and smokes *i know thats very bad* but when the hunger pains kick in, I scrub the floors, do the dishes, wash the wall, re-arrange the living room... anything and then I *forget* to eat. and the day is almost over and I eat something..all gone to the fat pockets YEP! and then the guilt overwhelms me where I want to throw up, but being OCD and germs and all that..I cant do it. so I go to bed and wake up feeling like a big cow. and while Im going to sleep all the new diets, exercise etc that I am going to start doing is running thru my head.
now being recently diagnosed with GAD and starting the meds. Im eating more often..but not much at all when I do and my family is giving me a hard time..to me Im eating way more then I normally would in a day so I feel like a huge cow.

Thanks for letting me vent