I used to come to this site a lot for depression. It helped, and then I felt better. I climbed out of my hole, but here I am again, back at square one. Been digging this hole, and falling in and climbing out for about 8 years now. I think I am depressed, but I think it has to do with being a very shy person my whole life. As I get older, I get more isolated, bored, and lonely. I don't feel like I'm living, and I often wonder what is the point of being here. Although, since I can't leave, I feel trapped in hell. It doesn't help to live with an alcoholic mother with undiagnosed mental issues either. I feel like such a failure, and a burden. I keep quitting everything, and I'm not sure why. I figure it's fear, but now I just have no interest in anything. I read a whole book yesterday on Social Anxiety and Painful Shyness. I know I need to see someone, but that costs money which I don't have because I keep quitting jobs. I had a job I was comfortable with for 4 years. I quit there before, and they took me back. While I was there, I kept thinking I could do something better, so I went back to school. Stayed with that for 8 months, and just recently quit. I was crying in class because I guess I felt I didn't like the career I was going for, and which I've been trying to do for about 8 years. I'm so confused, and my mind seems to be clouded with fear, that I don't even know what I want out of life anymore. I read that people with social anxiety or painful shyness often have difficulties with working, and accomplishing anything really. Does anyone else experience this? I am very shy, but I seem to manage being around people by going into my own little world when I'm out and about. That doesn't feel great either, it's like I'm only glimpsing at the world, and I have to really concentrate to "see" things. Almost like I'm dreaming all the time. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I don't know how much longer I can take being dependent on someone who makes everything worse. Well, thanks for listening.