My social anxiety makes it so I cannot go out with people. Cannot speak with a small group, can't make friends. The self-hate happens like you said here. The voice is so loud. Everything I say is wrong. I wish I could get over it because I need friends so bad. It makes me stutter and sometimes I start to tremble. People think I'm freezing. My jaw chatters. If I have to go to a party, I drink. Too much. I have to go to work parties sometimes and probably drink too much there, too. But I have such a hard time socializing.

I don't know how to get over it. It feels pretty hopeless to me. I'm just saying, I can relate.