hi codered, welcome to PC

I agree with Byzantine and Rohag, it sounds like you might benefit from some professional help. Have you thought about seeing a therapist or a counsellor? It might also help to see a doctor about how you're feeling. Low motivation and depressed feelings could be a sign of something physical as well as mental and it's a good idea to get checked out.

As for the girls thing ... do you know, the most attracted I have ever been to a guy was not the most attractive guy I've seen? But he was pure confidence and it just felt good to be anywhere near him. He smiled, he looked people in the eye, he walked with his head held high and he spoke his mind. You've probably heard it before, but confidence is WAY up there on the list of things girls go for. And confidence isn't something you're born with, it's something you learn. It has nothing to do with your looks -- if you like yourself, it shows, and if people think YOU like yourself they're going to be more willing to see if they like you too. It sounds to me like you're negating a lot of the good things about yourself. If you like the way you look, LIKE it! Don't add any "buts" in there. If you can make ANYONE laugh, that's a great gift to have. Not everyone can do that ... in fact there are a LOT more un-funny people out there than funny ones. Pay attention to your thinking ... when you think something positive about yourself or a situation, is there a "but..." that comes after? What if you refuse to believe anything that comes after that but? Then what? Then how would you feel?