I feel so humdrum right now. I just don't have any emotion. Has anybody ever felt like that? I used to have all sorts of emotions all of the time, but now...I am just an existance on this planet.

I finally got with my counselor the other day. I only see him once a month during the summer, because of our schedules never matching up. I told him of my triumph over the hospital, and the nurse that stripped searched me in front of a security camera. He was very proud of me, and impressed that I stood my ground, and filed charges. Because of this, I am thinking that I am just about ready to quit counseling. I know I still have a lot of things to work on, but I don't think going to counseling will or will not help me with these things. It is up to me to do the work. I know the counseling stuff, I just have to apply it all. Does this make sence? I guess I am just thinking that there is a point in counseling, that you have to quit being dependant on the counselor to tell you the answers, and do it yourself. I wish I could quit with the stipulation that if I needed him, I could turn to him.
Well I just want to let you all know that I am alive.

Love to you all
bren