Two months ago to this day my brother signed papers that gave my niece up for adoption to her step dad. It's a long story and I honestly cant tell you why he did it because he told us and the judge he didn't think it was in her best interest but he did it anyways. Well my t says that I am grieving over that loss. My niece was a special part of my life...she was my world. I didn't get to see her a lot because my brother was divorced but I got to see her enough to have a special bond with her. One that can't be replaced. Over this last year her mother has turned my niece against us and at this moment my niece claims that we have had nothing to do with her, her entire life which is a lie. I am angry and sad that it has come down to this. It kind of feels like she has died...I can't see her, talk with her, hold her, kiss her, but the bad part is I know exactly where she is so it's kinda like I can't close the casket. This is hard because a part of me wants to be mad at my brother but the other part is saying just support him which is what I have been doing this last two months. I can't imagine what he is going thru because I know all that I am going thru. I'm just not good at grieving and I don't really want to grieve her because then it makes it real...and I don't want this to be real. I may never again get to have a relationship with my niece and that's hard for me to understand at this point. I also blame myself for not being there more for her when I had the chance. Well there's a lot more to it but I'll be quiet for now I'm sure your tired of listening to my problems.

Sorry this is more of me just ranting and venting...I don't really get to talk this over with anyone but my t and so thanks for listening...I'm just hurting right now and don't know what to do really.