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Dec 04, 2009, 11:12 AM
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 5,518
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Hi Tatyana
I married my ex-husband after living together for two years. In hindsight, I pressured him to marry me because something was missing in our relationship. I thought if he married me, it would prove his commitment to me, our relationship would improve, and we could live happily ever after. It didn't work out as I planned. He felt smothered, our relationship deteriorated, and the marriage didn't last. 
I lived with my husband for three years. Our relationship was so good I was afraid if I even mentioned marriage it would spoil the magic we had together. It was my husband who mentioned marriage first. I said yes because we had what was missing in my first marriage. Our love was real, we were already fully committed to spending the rest of our lives with each other, and no improvements to the relationship were necessary. 
We've been married now for 17 years. Neither one of us wears our wedding rings, but we don't have to wear them. I know he belongs to me, and he knows I belong to him. 
We were watching TV one day and someone said "marriage is difficult." My husband turned to me and said "I don't think it's difficult, do you?" I said "No." He sighed and said "Then we must not be doing it right." 
I hope you'll be able to work things out with your man without having to pressure him. 
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